Feeling miffed today because I lost a whole week’s worth of weight loss progress in 1 day and why? Did I eat ice cream or cookies? No. I had a few little sausages with eggs yesterday, because I couldn’t take another burger or sardine. Then I had as clean as possible hot dogs, which are grass-fed beef with some spices but no sugar.  Now, the sausage, I admit, had some sugar in it with a total of 2 carbohydrates for 3 sausages. 2 carbs. And 0 in the hot dogs and eggs. And about 1200 calories for the day.

But the only way I seem to be able to lose weight is by not only eating beef only, with some sardines, eating less than 1000 cals/day. This is probably because I’m 5’0″ and very small frame. I was wearing size 3 shoes in 8^th grade, until I graduated to a size 5 in high school and stopped there (later size 5.5 due to weight gain when I quit smoking).  My grandchildren have long ago passed me in shoe size, at ages now of 11 and 15.  I’m too small (though I shouldn’t say that since God made me this way and I’m what I’m supposed to be for a reason, just not supposed to eat so much!).  And as a result of being so small, the amount of food I can eat in a day is much less than the average bear, certainly less than the 5’7″ and 5’9″ carnivore ladies I listen to online.  

When I was little, I always heard,”You’re so tiny, Valerie!  When are you going to grow?”.  Then I hit my teen years and “blossomed”.  But, at 13, I took care of that quick 35-pound weight gain: I started smoking, not to mention drinking, and later discovered drugs, and they would all keep me from eating. So I was off to the races with all the substances I’d substituted for food, for many years.

Then when I decided to stop those things (today happens to be 35 years clean and sober—and almost 26 years for the cigarettes), all the weight came back and then some, and I was faced with my original  addiction, FOOD. And not just carbs, though those are definitely my favs, but all food. In fact, what I’m really addicted to, I’ve come to realize, is MORE. I’m addicted to more of whatever it happens to be. I can’t get enough. I have an insatiable appetite for everything!

In the Bible, it’s put this way:  “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not of the Father, but is of the world.” (1 John 2:16 KJV)  Yup. That’s me. I mean, yes, I am of the Father, due to being saved by God through His Son Jesus Christ about 9 years ago (out of the world of New Age—another story I talk about in a post on one of my other two blogs, Where Is Your Faith.org (WIYF). The story is called “Enough Rope to Hang Myself” and is written in 3 Parts). But apparently the world still has a last (hopefully, not lasting) hold on me through my food addiction, the one snare I’ve held at bay all these years.

Thank God, I’ve been able to shake all my other addictions—cigs, alcohol, various drugs—that I’d collected over the years, but I’m still battling with the food, especially the sugar and carbs, my original “best friends” before the cigarettes took that title.  It was when I quit smoking that the old food/carb/sugar addiction popped in and said, “Hi, I’m baaaack!” And, as I said, that was 26 years ago! Plenty of time to gain LOTS of weight, this poor little body didn’t need to have to carry around.

So, I’m back to the strict version of the carnivore diet, or WOE (way of eating), or “lifestyle”, though I’m allowing some eggs and sardines and still those spicy all-beef grass-finished hot dogs to see if the spices are causing me trouble.

Because it’s not just the weight loss I’m after, but a much longed-for break from chronic rhinitis which beats me up daily (covered more in another post–please forgive me if I repeat myself!).

So, just beef is the “lion” version of carnivore, a term Mikhaila Peterson coined for the diet she had to get down to in order to cure her many ailments (and it worked). Then there’s the “sea-lion” version, a term someone else coined for adding in seafood, but then I added eggs (cooked in ghee) for some added flavor (and now I’m testing avocados regarding my nose, to see if I can sneak those in, too).  But as Neisha Berry (RN) always says, it’s the dose that makes the poison. So I’m hoping if I go easy on each of these items (not the beef), I’ll be okay.

Because losing weight won’t matter if I’m still fighting the old schnozola. Anyone who’s had chronic rhinitis, regardless of allergic or non-allergic, knows the torture it can put you through. I was attacked with it out of nowhere in 2017, and it’s still w/me. And allergy pills only do so much and I hate their side effects.

Actually, I think the non-allergic brand of chronic rhinitis is worse, because if you know you’re allergic to something you can at least try to avoid it and hopefully evade the painful symptoms. But if there’s no allergy, per se’, then you’re just stuck w/it.

And it is painful, at least for me, because it’s not just sneezing and nose-blowing. It’s actual pain inside my nose, like trying to function in my day while someone stands there poking a toothpick up my nostril NONSTOP every day and night of my life. It gets me out of bed at all hours, because lying down makes it worse. And maybe about an hour or more later, I can crawl back into bed and pray for the best outcome—sleep!

I know other people have terrible problems they deal with that make mine look like nothing, and I’m grateful mine aren’t worse, and I thank God every day for that, but, just the same, it feels like torture when I’m in the thick of it.

Well, to wrap this up. I hope I haven’t gone off on too many tangents or made no sense at all.  This blog is just for me to “process” my meandering thoughts and feelings, so please bear with me.  I remember long ago when I started my first blog Let’s Write.com that some guy writing about starting a blog for the first time said, “Write as if no one is going to read it. Like a diary.” That stuck with me and it worked! Most of the time, I was (and am) able not to worry (too much) about what people will think about what I’m saying or if it’ll make any sense to them.  This approach helps me especially because of undiagnosed ADHD, or being otherwise somewhere “on the spectrum”, causing me to go off on tangents regularly, though I do try to stay aware and pull myself back, if necessary. I mean, I was always like that, but I think the world of screens and videos has multiplied its effects on my poor, beleaguered brain.

So if you don’t like what I say, or it makes no sense to you, I get it, and I’m sorry. But if there’s one word I write here that helps you in your quest for good health and your weight loss “trip”, then, “Good on ya!” as the Brits say. And I’m happy to have you.

Have a great day! I’ll post again soon.